Baby Sleeps Alone at Night, But Won’t Nap Without Being Held: What to Do
If you’ve found yourself with a baby who sleeps soundly in their crib at night but refuses to nap without being held, you’re not alone. It’s a common scenario that many parents face: your little one can go to bed on their own without a fuss, but when it comes to daytime naps, it’s a different story. Suddenly, they need to be held, rocked, or even nursed to sleep, leaving you wondering how you can break the cycle and get your baby to nap independently.
Let’s dive into why this happens and how you can help your baby make the transition to napping independently, while also keeping their nighttime routine intact.
Why Is This Happening?
First, let’s acknowledge that this isn’t unusual. Babies experience different sleep patterns at night and during the day, and it’s important to keep in mind that babies don’t always behave consistently across different sleep periods. But here’s why it can be happening:
Different Sleep Associations at Night vs. Day
At night, your baby may be used to falling asleep on their own, whether it’s through self-settling or a consistent bedtime routine. However, during the day, babies tend to be more sensitive and need more help falling asleep. This can create a situation where they feel more dependent on external soothing methods like being held.Shorter Sleep Cycles During the Day
Babies have shorter sleep cycles during the day, and they may wake up more frequently during naps. This can make them more dependent on you to help them get back to sleep, especially if they haven’t learned how to fall asleep independently yet.Daytime Naps Can Be Harder to Settle Into
While nighttime sleep can be more conducive to deep, restorative rest, daytime naps tend to be lighter and shorter. The daytime environment is generally more stimulating, with more noise and activity happening around the house. This can make it harder for babies to settle on their own.Separation Anxiety
Some babies experience separation anxiety, which can make it difficult for them to nap independently. If they’re used to being held during nap time, it may feel more comforting to them. This separation anxiety is especially common around 6-9 months of age when babies start to become more aware of their surroundings and attachments.
How to Help Your Baby Nap Independently
Now that we know why your baby might be struggling with independent naps, let's talk about how to address it. The good news is, with some patience and consistency, it’s absolutely possible to get your baby napping independently. Here are a few strategies to help you along the way:
1. Gradual Transitions: Slowly Move Toward Independent Napping
If your baby is used to being held during naps, you can start with gradual changes to help them adjust. Start by holding your baby until they are drowsy, but not fully asleep, and then place them in their crib. Over time, try to decrease the amount of holding or rocking. You might try sitting next to their crib, offering comfort without picking them up, and gradually moving further away from their crib as they become more comfortable with sleeping independently. You can also try assisting them to sleep IN the crib (instead of in your arms) so that they’re falling asleep in the same place they’ll be waking up.
2. Create a Calm, Predictable Nap Routine
Just like bedtime, a consistent nap routine can signal to your baby that it’s time to sleep. Try to keep the routine similar each day, so they know what to expect. For example, a short, calming pre-nap ritual could include dimming the lights, reading a book, or singing a quiet song. Creating a nap environment that is dark, quiet, and consistent will help signal to your baby that it’s time to rest. 9 out of 10 times, there’s ONE thing different in the bedtime routine than the nap routine and that’s where the feeding happens. Either feeding happens early in the bedtime routine and late in the nap routine or vice versa!
3. Use a Comfort Object
If your baby is particularly attached to being held for comfort during naps, introduce a comfort object (if thye’re over 12 months) like a soft blanket or a stuffed animal (make sure it’s safe and appropriate for their age). You can place the object in their crib while they sleep or during their nap time to help them feel more secure. Over time, they may become attached to the object and feel more comfortable napping without you holding them.
4. Implement Sleep Training for Naps
For many babies, sleep training techniques can be helpful in encouraging independent sleep. Gradual methods like the Ferber method (graduated extinction) or no tears methods can be applied during nap time to help your baby learn to settle and fall asleep without being held. This can take time and consistency, but it can be very effective.
If you’re using a method like the Ferber method, try to apply it in a consistent way during naps and be prepared for some short-term crying as your baby adjusts. It can be tough, but remember that this is all about helping your baby build the skills to fall asleep independently.
5. Don’t Over-Stimulate Before Naps
It’s tempting to fill the day with activities, but over-stimulating your baby right before a nap can make it harder for them to fall asleep independently. Try to keep the 30 minutes before nap time calm and quiet. Avoid active play or screen time, and focus on winding down together before placing them in their crib.
6. Be Consistent with Your Approach
Babies thrive on consistency. If you’re trying to encourage independent naps, it’s essential to stay consistent with your approach. Whether you’re using a gradual transition or a specific sleep training method, stick with it for a few weeks before deciding to make changes. If you waver too much, your baby may become confused and struggle more with the process.
When to Seek Help
If you’ve been working on nap time independence for a few weeks and your baby is still struggling, it might be time to get some help. Sometimes, sleep issues are more complex than they appear, and a sleep consultant can help you address the root cause of your baby’s nap struggles. A certified sleep consultant can work with you to create a personalized plan that fits your baby’s specific needs and help you make progress more quickly.
At Heaven Sent Sleep, we specialize in helping parents like you navigate the challenges of baby sleep. Whether it's nap time, night time, or both, we’re here to guide you through it with gentle, effective strategies.
What Our Clients Are Saying
One of our recent clients, Sarah, shared how we helped her with her baby's nap struggles:
"I was so frustrated when my baby wouldn't nap without being held, but after working with Heaven Sent Sleep, I have the tools to help my baby nap independently. It took time, but now my little one is napping in their crib, and I have a much-needed break!" — Sarah, Mom of Emma, 9 months
You’ve Got This
If your baby sleeps alone at night but won’t nap without being held, it’s a common challenge, but it’s one that you can absolutely overcome. With patience, consistency, and the right strategies, your baby will learn how to nap independently. And you’ll get the rest you deserve, too!
If you’re feeling stuck or need extra guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out. At Heaven Sent Sleep, we’re here to support you every step of the way. Check out our blog for more sleep tips or schedule a consultation today.
