Myth Busting Viral Sleep Training Article
There’s an article going around (linked) titled “Fifteen years of research suggests that sleep training for babies can cause them more distress” that really catches your attention because OMG 15 years?! That much research to prove sleep training is damaging even though the actual research we have about sleep training itself shows no such thing? Even the 5 year follow up?!
Yeah.
I get it— this study aims to take down extinction or CIO type sleep training (maybe even Ferber, it’s hard to say) or any behavioral sleep modifications. I don’t know.
What it ends up doing is perpetuating a cycle of falsehood for a gross misunderstanding of what sleep training is.
It is ABSOLUTELY NOT leaving your child to cry in their crib for 12 hours because you don’t want to parent them. And that’s what these articles (and several written by the same author) imply.
So I’ve copied several, if not 90% of the paragraphs in the article, linked the study they’re referring to and used common sense + an educated look at what we actually know sleep training is to provide parents with some peace of mind (because they deserve that and way less shame).
1. “Sleep training is often encouraged by authors, bloggers and some doctors, who claim it helps a baby to learn to calm themselves. But as researchers of the biological and psychological needs of infants for the past 15 years, we can confidently say this is an illusion as sleep training actually violates what early childhood experts call the need for safe, stable, and nurturing relationships.”
Links to this study: https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/148/2/e2021052582#sec-45
This is a study regarding toxic stress— let’s look at this quote from the study: “current threats to child well-being and long-term health, such as widening economic inequities, deeply embedded structural racism, the separation of immigrant children from their parents, and a socially isolating global pandemic, make the toxic stress framework as relevant as ever.”
I would say that all things listed there have absolutely nothing to do with sleep training in a loving home.
Examples of toxic stress:
physical or emotional abuse
chronic neglect
caregiver substance abuse or mental illness
exposure to violence or the accumulated burdens of family
economic hardship
Sleep training actually falls under the category of positive stress which includes things like the first day with a new caregiver or receiving a shot.
The third form of stress is called tolerable stress. Those examples are: loss of a loved one, natural disaster, or frightening injury.
So we can debunk whatever they’re trying to prove with this statement simply because they’re equating sleep training to chronic neglect (I don’t think we can categorize a few nights of setting boundaries around sleep as chronic) or being exposed to violence.
Link about stress: https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/toxic-stress/
The following quote isn’t even linked to research, just a random website.
2. “It also violates the instincts of parents to comfort their young one. Indeed, from an evolutionary perspective, sleep training goes against our mammalian heritage – which emphasises companionship care from multiple responsive caregivers who provide extensive affection and constant comforting presence.”
No one says we can’t comfort our little ones when they’re upset, even with sleep training. It means you may set a boundary and say I’m not going to do this for you but I am here to set you up to be successful at falling asleep on your own. Again, misunderstanding and misrepresenting sleep training.
3. “As social mammals, babies need affectionate touch and soothing care as they learn self-regulation and how to live outside the womb. If caregivers are not cuddling and physically present with their young for at least several hours a day, multiple systems can go awry because stress responses can be set to be overreactive, meaning that the brain will always be on the lookout for threats, even when such threats aren’t really there (e.g. when someone accidentally bumps into you but you take it as intentional provocation).”
Link to the study: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19401723/
This is once again discussing chronic stress— sleep training is a short term/acute process.
We’ve also established over and over that a secure attachment is not formed by being physically close and in constant contact with our little ones. Attachment parenting does not increase attachment. They’re fine practices in theory if they work for you, but they’re by no means the end all be all when it comes to creating a secure attachment.
Not to mention, this would imply that parents of multiple children or children who go to daycare ore doomed because it’s physically impossible to constantly cuddle a child in either scenario. Sorry, but I’m calling this a big fat lie.
If you’d like to compare your child to a monkey who was never allowed any physical contact with it’s mother… then here you go.
4. “Experiments carried out with isolated baby monkeys, depriving them of maternal touch (they could still smell, hear and see other monkeys), for example, found that when untouched, the baby monkeys developed all sorts of brain and social abnormalities.”
Link: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1960-02805-001
You mean the time it takes for your child to fall asleep is going to equate to a monkey who has never interacted with it’s mother?
Okay.
(Can you guys see how far fetched these comparisons are?)
How about this one…
5. “And the stress response can become overactive if babies are not kept content most of the time – which can cause long-term physical and mental health problems.”
WOW. That’s a lot of pressure, particularly for parents of high needs or colicky babies which probably perpetuates a cycle of poor maternal health which we do know is a factor in attachment and child wellbeing.
The study they linked is talking about severe trauma, by the way. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21854166/
6. “Ongoing biobehavioral synchrony with parents (i.e. the requirement of physical presence, the coupling of heart rhythms and autonomic function, coordination of brain oscillations, and coordination of hormone release like oxytocin) is critical in a baby’s life, and it lays the foundations for the child’s future self-regulation and social-emotional intelligence.”
I couldn’t tell from the study they linked but I *think* they’re discussing co-regulation which is absolutely something we do with our children! But did you know an imperative part of co-regulating effectively is exposing our children to opportunities to practice self regulation?
Hmm. Kind of like sleep training.
They quote this study: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7981480/
7. And try to say, “with sleep training, infants’ fight and flight instincts activate in the face of extensive distress, such as being left without comforting physical touch. When the distress of separation and lack of response goes on too long, the infant may quiet down but it is to reserve limited energy.”
It’s literally not even about sleep training?
God forbid you have to go poop for 10 minutes and leave your infant alone in a safe space. They’ll be damaged forever.
God forbid you have a child that hates the carseat and you’re stuck in traffic and can’t safely provide any physical contact.
I could go on.
Their hyperbolic language increases stress in parents for absolutely no reason other than to fuel their agenda.
And they end with, “true responsive care means adjusting to what babies need, helping them stay calm, attending to the gestures and facial expressions that indicate discomfort and moving in to gently restore equilibrium. Crying is a late signal of need, so ignoring it all together may mean you’ve waited too long.”
When you’re sleeping, it is IMPOSSIBLE to be attuned to your child’s every need. Like what are you supposed to do?
Sorry you’re not a mind reader?
Research from Ed Tronickw.thereadclinic.com/article/797-2/ has found that we are attuned to our children’s needs 30% of the time and that’s enough to form a secure attachment. He coined it the “good enough” mother because it’s impossible to be attuned 100% of the time EVEN when we are trying to be!
That could be as simple as feeding your child when you’ve misunderstood a sleep cue as a hunger cue.
I mean really— these articles set the bar on being a “perfect” parent and there’s just no attaining it the way they represent it here.
If you read the full article and you feel shamed, judged, or guilty then I hope debunking it with some common sense helped release you of that because you deserve to feel supported in the choices you make for your child. <3
More than anything I want families to be able to make an informed decision about parenting practices and it feels nearly impossible sometimes when these sort of articles pitch far fetched and unproven theories as facts and absolutes.
The absolute fact is that you’re trying your best and I can already tell you that’s more important than anything else!
